Handling Depression as a Startup Founder
I write this from the depth of my heart. This article isn’t SEO massaged and so you won’t be reading the same words of “startup mentor” or “startup advisor” a hundred times. I’m really writing this because I care about other founders who may be feeling the same way I feel sometimes.
Who am I and what’s my story?
I’m in my mid 20s. I have responsibilities outside of Sparrow, both personal and professional. Most of my time everyday is spent sleeping or just pushing paper at my other outlets. I moved to a new city almost 10 years ago. It wasn’t easy in my first month, and I remember crying on the floor of my residence at school. It was really hard. I had no idea how to do “it” and everything felt like they were coming at me at once.
Fast forward, now I’ve built Sparrow because of several reasons. One of the selfish reasons being that I didn’t find the satisfaction I needed from other avenues of my life. Everything just feels it drains the life out of me. Hours and hours of effort, every week, to no conclusion. I just don’t feel the point of those activities. I made Sparrow because I wanted to see something real happen, where I could personally carry out a responsibility to help others.
I wrote this one night when I was really hyped up about Sparrow.
Raw. From the heart.
What gets me depressed?
Everyone’s story is unique, different and really personal. That’s one reason I don’t tell others things like — “I get you / I feel you / I totally understand.” It’s quite impossible to understand what 20 years of context feels like, in someone else’s body.
I get depressed because I just feel like I’m not getting enough traction with Sparrow sometimes. There’s just way too much going on. And not enough to show for. Sure, there’s sessions being booked and people actually being helped through our fantastic advisors, but I just feel like I’m falling short of my platform goals. There’s just so much more ground to cover and it’s really tough doing it all by myself.
I don’t think I’m alone in this. I’m sure there’s others (startup founders or not) who follow a similar path. It just feels a little never-ending, if that makes sense.
When does it end?
There’s just something about depression that makes you wish it ended earlier. I really am not sure when it’ll end. Feels like one of those tunnels with no real end in sight. Just one wave after the next. Most waves recently haven’t been too large or deadly. On some days, it used to be one wave after the next. Large, unforgiving, and saddening. Really, really hard.
There’s just so much to do, but there isn’t much happening on the other end of it. I feel there’s lots of input, but not much ‘processing’ or output. Comp sci reference.
I think entrepreneurship is a very hard, hard thing to pursue. It’s just loss of hope, lack of structure and just a complete bumfuck mess of a world. It makes me feel like like everything is falling apart, yet going at 100 mph. But there’s something about it all that drives me mad, crazy and makes me fall in love.
Maybe I’m just a little fucked.
How do you end it?
I’m not sure. Sorry, I might have an advisor for most challenges you have when scaling your company (hehe) but I don’t have a solution for this question. I’m just as lost as you are, sometimes maybe we’re just as weak as each other. But one thing’s for sure, I’m not dying till Sparrow kills everyone else on the battlefield, and we’re the last ones standing. Buckle the fuck up.
Thanks for reading. See? No SEO-shit on this one. But hey, really though, if you’re looking for growth mentors for your startup or just startup advisors you can rant to about growing your company’s revenue, customer base, etc., just come sit with us at Sparrow!
As it stands today, you’re also able to book a call with me totally free-of-charge, just tell me anything you want. I’ll be your best friend. Call me.
